10 Reasons Parents Can Love Each of Their Children Equally

sibling rivalry
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Siblings will often taunt each other saying, “Mommy loves me more,” or use similar barbs to provoke each other. This can be maddening to parents who try hard to treat each of their children fairly and consistently. Since every child is different with their own personalities and talents, this can be a difficult task. Jealousy and insecurity will often lead one child to feel he’s being treated unfairly or unloved. For parents who struggle with this problem, here are 10 reasons parents can love each of their children equally.

  1. Equal but different – Parents can love each of their children equally while expressing it differently. Some kids like to cuddle more and others will push parents away when they try to give a hug. That doesn’t mean they love either of them any less, but show it in different ways.
  2. Like isn’t love – There are times when parents will like one child more than another, but that isn’t the same as love. When one kid is being a brat the parent won’t like the behavior but still love the child.
  3. Appreciation – Parents will also appreciate one child over another for various reasons, but that doesn’t mean they love the others less. The child that behaves and obeys is certainly appreciated more when the other kids are being unruly and defiant.
  4. Unconditional – The love parents have for all their children is unconditional. They would do anything to protect each child from harm and suffer greatly if any of their children is hurt. This goes without question.
  5. Equal isn’t always fair – The difficult thing for most people to understand is the difference between equal and fair. Parents can love each of their children equally in proportion or degree, but fairness implies free from bias. Being fair is by far the more difficult to achieve.
  6. Perception – The amount of love each child receives is often a matter of perception. One child may feel neglected even though the parents work hard to treat each sibling the same. Parents can do little to change the perceived love each child feels.
  7. Sibling rivalry – Children will often compete for their parent’s affection and this sibling rivalry can be a real challenge. It’s important to realize that kids who accuse their parents of favoring one child over the other are usually just displaying dominance.
  8. Attention vs. love – Another reason kids may feel they’re not being loved equally is because they will confuse attention with love. Children with special needs are certainly going to require more attention, but that doesn’t mean they are loved any more than the other siblings.
  9. Playing favorites – Even parents who are guilty of playing favorites with their children can still love each of them equally. Favoring one child over the other does not necessarily mean they love that one more. It may simply mean that they have more in common and get along better.
  10. Wants and needs – It’s also important to consider the wants and needs of the individual child. Some kids just plain need more affection while others are content to be left alone. Parents will treat each child differently according to their personality while loving them all equally.

Parents will often feel guilty if they find themselves preferring one child over the other. They need to be careful not to equate that with love. Deep down, no matter how difficult children can be, a parent will always love them. The key is to always strive to be fair and maintain good communication with all the children. This way parents will be better equipped to explain when one child may be feeling less loved than the others.

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